A Letter

Anthony and I celebrated two years of marriage on March 6. In honor of our anniversary, we decided (okay, I decided, and Anthony agreed) to read some of the letters and emails we wrote to each other at the beginning of our relationship. We had a good time doing so, and we both agreed that it was a good reminder. With Anthony's permission, I decided to post one of his letters to me. This would have been much more relevant if I had gotten around to it during our anniversary week... or month. But oh well. This is my party, and I'll procrastinate if I want to. Here goes...

Hannah,

My heart grows more fond of you with each passing day. The more I am around you, the more I want to never leave. I do know very well the trying difficulties before us, but at the same time, I feel quite strongly that whatever may come, if I have you, I can do it, and it will be worth it.

The Lord, who is our Righteousness, is also a Stronghold in the day of trouble. We, no doubt, will have troubling days. But we, without question, must lean all the more intently on Him, the Everlasting, Immovable Rock.

It is my hope also that He will make me strong for you, in order that you may lean on me and trust me as we trust Him together.

with Love and Anticipation,

Anthony

When I first read this letter, I remember feeling [obviously] happy. I was growing more in love with Anthony and wanting to be with him constantly, and I was thrilled that he felt the same. I do also remember feeling some worry. I have always cared far too much about outside perceptions and people's opinions of me. Those of you who know our story know the "trying difficulties" that we anticipated at that time. And Anthony guessed correctly; there were troubling days ahead.

When I read this letter now, I feel happy still. I am happy that our love continues to grow deeper--as it will for all couples whose relationship has the right Focus--and I am happy that we still enjoy time with each other just as much as we did almost three years ago. But I no longer feel worry. "Well, duh," you might say, "no reason to worry now... the hard conversations and changes are behind you." But I'm here to say that the worry that plagued me then would continue to plague me now if it were not for the truth of the second part of Anthony's letter: The Lord has been our Rock and our Stronghold. When we have failed (and we have... plenty), God has remained steadfast. When the difficult times came (and they did... in some ways more than we could have imagined at the beginning), Christ was our Hiding Place and our Comforter.

Because of God's immeasurable love for us, for me, I can honestly say that anxiety plays a much smaller role in my life now. But it has not been replaced with misguided optimism; I am not under the impression that my life will be chocolate cake from this point forward. I am seeing clearer each day that there are difficult days ahead for us all. However, God has given me His peace. And it really does surpass all understanding.

That's the primary thing I feel now when I read this letter... peace. God has shown us that no matter the situation, He has us in the palm of His hand. I am thankful and relieved that He has been our comfort from then until now. And I am confident that He will continue to be our Strong Tower in the future. Took me long enough.

And Anthony was right. Because we have each other, because we now have more of Christ, it has all been more than worth it.