Seven Years

     Today is our seven year anniversary. We both agreed that it seems impossible that it's been seven years. However, each of my pregnancies seemed to last at least fourteen and a half months, so when I think of it from that perspective, I can count up the seven years pretty easily. Anthony and I aren't typically too sentimental, but we did enjoy reminiscing a bit throughout this past week. And today's church service ended with "Great Is Thy Faithfulness." We sang this hymn at our wedding, so I considered it pretty perfect timing. The words seem even truer to me today than they did seven years ago. God has repeatedly proven to our often forgetful hearts that he is indeed unchanging, merciful, sufficient for our every need, full of lovingkindness...faithful.

   

 

 

 

     Our family has undergone many changes over our seven years together. We are thankful to God for his many good gifts. And we are more thankful still for the reality that He has not changed a bit. As He has been, He forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;

As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

A Video

But first, a short preface:

     Towards the end of January 2013, Christ Church Radford had a corporate prayer meeting for health needs within our congregation. Before the praying began, Anthony encouraged us to remember that God is both able and willing to heal us physically. The meeting was broken down into categories of sorts, and one of these was "infertility." One lonely surname rested beneath the "i" word, and it was ours. 

     In the days and weeks following this sweet time of prayer, God renewed something in me that had faded some three years prior: hope. And on March 3, 2013 (three years ago today), Anthony made this announcement...

                                  

What exceeds our ingratitude?

Jeremiah 2:4-6

Hear the word of the Lord, O house of Jacob and all the families of the house of Israel.

Thus says the Lord:

What injustice have your fathers found in Me, that they have gone far from Me, have followed idols, and have become idolaters? Neither did they say, 'Where is the Lord, Who brought us up out of the land of Egypt...?

If their ingratitude was base, who inquired not after Him who had redeemed them from Egypt, what must ours be, who have been redeemed from death and hell; and redeemed, too, not as Israel, by a mere act of power, but by the blood and righteousness of our incarnate God! Consider, in reference to the points specified in the passage before us, from what bondage we have been delivered; what provision God has made for us in the way; and what a rest he has prepared for us at the end! What were the afflictions of Egypt, in comparison to the miseries of hell? And what were the cloudy pillar for their direction, and the manna and water for their support, in comparison to the indwelling of the Spirit of God in our souls, as our Guide, our Sanctifier, and our Comforter? And what was a short possession of Canaan, in comparison to an eternal inheritance in heaven? What the Jews enjoyed was a mere shadow only, of which we possess the substance: and all this bought for us by the precious blood of Christ, who laid down his life for us?

Now, it might well be supposed that we should be continually inquiring after this Saviour; and that we should not have so much as a wish but to know Him, love Him, serve Him, glorify Him, and enjoy Him. But has this been the case with us? Have we not, on the contrary, passed days, weeks, months, and years, without any anxious desire after Him, or any diligent pursuit of Him? Look back, I pray you, and see what has been the state of your souls, from your youth up even to the present moment. Compare your feelings about the things of this world, its cares, pleasures, vanities; and say whether they have not engrossed your minds far more than the Lord Jesus, and all the wonders of redeeming love. Tell me, then, What can exceed your ingratitude? And how justly may God be filled with indignation against you!

I now, in God's name, challenge every one of you to say, What have you ever found in the Lord Jesus Christ that merits such treatment at your hands?

-Charles Simeon

A Letter

Anthony and I celebrated two years of marriage on March 6. In honor of our anniversary, we decided (okay, I decided, and Anthony agreed) to read some of the letters and emails we wrote to each other at the beginning of our relationship. We had a good time doing so, and we both agreed that it was a good reminder. With Anthony's permission, I decided to post one of his letters to me. This would have been much more relevant if I had gotten around to it during our anniversary week... or month. But oh well. This is my party, and I'll procrastinate if I want to. Here goes...

Hannah,

My heart grows more fond of you with each passing day. The more I am around you, the more I want to never leave. I do know very well the trying difficulties before us, but at the same time, I feel quite strongly that whatever may come, if I have you, I can do it, and it will be worth it.

The Lord, who is our Righteousness, is also a Stronghold in the day of trouble. We, no doubt, will have troubling days. But we, without question, must lean all the more intently on Him, the Everlasting, Immovable Rock.

It is my hope also that He will make me strong for you, in order that you may lean on me and trust me as we trust Him together.

with Love and Anticipation,

Anthony

When I first read this letter, I remember feeling [obviously] happy. I was growing more in love with Anthony and wanting to be with him constantly, and I was thrilled that he felt the same. I do also remember feeling some worry. I have always cared far too much about outside perceptions and people's opinions of me. Those of you who know our story know the "trying difficulties" that we anticipated at that time. And Anthony guessed correctly; there were troubling days ahead.

When I read this letter now, I feel happy still. I am happy that our love continues to grow deeper--as it will for all couples whose relationship has the right Focus--and I am happy that we still enjoy time with each other just as much as we did almost three years ago. But I no longer feel worry. "Well, duh," you might say, "no reason to worry now... the hard conversations and changes are behind you." But I'm here to say that the worry that plagued me then would continue to plague me now if it were not for the truth of the second part of Anthony's letter: The Lord has been our Rock and our Stronghold. When we have failed (and we have... plenty), God has remained steadfast. When the difficult times came (and they did... in some ways more than we could have imagined at the beginning), Christ was our Hiding Place and our Comforter.

Because of God's immeasurable love for us, for me, I can honestly say that anxiety plays a much smaller role in my life now. But it has not been replaced with misguided optimism; I am not under the impression that my life will be chocolate cake from this point forward. I am seeing clearer each day that there are difficult days ahead for us all. However, God has given me His peace. And it really does surpass all understanding.

That's the primary thing I feel now when I read this letter... peace. God has shown us that no matter the situation, He has us in the palm of His hand. I am thankful and relieved that He has been our comfort from then until now. And I am confident that He will continue to be our Strong Tower in the future. Took me long enough.

And Anthony was right. Because we have each other, because we now have more of Christ, it has all been more than worth it.

The Stages of Procrastination

Stage one: Good Intentions

I'll write a post next Thursday. Thursdays are awesome for post-writing.

Stage two: Putting Off

Oh, man! I planned to write today, but I forgot I actually have to live and stuff. Maybe I'll wait until a day when I don't have to... live.

Stage three: Epiphany

I have to live EVERYday, dangit! I have things to do, people to see, the furthest bounds of the internet to explore. My life is so hectic!

Stage four: Intense Melodrama

Why did I even start this train?! Why am I even calling it that?! What sort of crazy person am I?! I don't have time for this! I want it to be perfect! It'll never be perfect! Ihatetheinternetandmyfingersaretiredandmyeyeshurtandblogsarestupid!

Stage five: Denial

I don't have a blog.

Up next: A letter and some thoughts on it. But don't push me. :)

The Lord Our Portion

In July of last year, I spoke at a bridal shower in Mississippi. Therefore, many of you have heard this already... but it was on my mind a lot today. I thought it would be a good blog post.

Psalm 16:5 reads, “O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You maintain my lot.” God himself is our portion in every aspect of life. Oh, what an excellent portion!

In this passage David is alluding to the division and distribution of the land of Canaan to the different tribes of Israel. Each of the twelve tribes inherited a segment of land, except for the Levites. They had no land inheritance. In Numbers chapter eighteen God says to Aaron, “You shall have no inheritance in their land, nor shall you have any portion among them; I am your portion and your inheritance among the children of Israel.” The Levites were the appointed priests, and the sacrifices offered to the Lord were appointed for their support. God himself was their inheritance.

David was from the tribe of Judah. Thus, his declaration of God as his portion was meant spiritually rather than literally. It is the same for us today through the New Covenant. All who are in Christ may claim God as their portion. Charles Simeon says,

This is not the privilege of Prophets and Apostles only, but of every the weakest believer in the Church of God; for we are expressly told, that “to as many as received him Jesus gave power to become the sons of God, even to them that believed on his name.” The very instant they believed in Christ, the relation between God and them was formed, and God became their Father, their Friend, their Portion, “their eternal great Reward.”

To David this great Reward was something to be praised. He says, “Yes, I have a good inheritance.” Are you in agreement with him? Have you reflected on the attributes of this abundant portion? What can be said of God as our Portion?

First, He is an ever-present portion. You may have wonderful friends, a compassionate family, an endearing and thoughtful spouse, but what do these compare with a Heavenly Father who is always with you? Your friends may at some point be unreachable. Your family members might be far away. And what if even the endearing, thoughtful spouse does not have all the responses that satisfy? God our Portion is ever-present, and there is no power that can intercept His gracious communications. We must agree with David that we have a good inheritance. The very best portion. The only one that can satisfy.

Second, God is an all-sufficient portion. I must quote Charles Simeon again:

A man may enjoy all which this world can bestow, but what can it avail him while racked with excruciating pains? What relief can it afford him under the agonies of a guilty conscience? Or what can it do to appease the fears of death? But there is no situation wherein God is not a suitable portion. In the possession of earthly blessings, his presence will greatly enhance our enjoyment of them. In the absence of all temporal comforts, with Him we can feel no want. A view of him as our friend will allay every fear, and assuage every pain; nor, having Him, can we want any other thing that is good.

Third, He is an eternal and everlasting portion. There are many things on earth that can provide a temporary sense of satisfaction. I’m not telling any of you anything new here. We have all experienced this temporary feeling of fullness. And haven’t we all felt the inward pangs of a desire left unfulfilled when these long-anticipated things have failed to truly satisfy? I’ll give a somewhat trivial, though applicable, example: a suspenseful book. You can’t wait to get to the end. The anticipation of the final paragraph teases you through the turn of every page. Finally, the last words are read, and if it’s a good book, happiness swells within you, characters are reflected upon fondly, and respect for the author overflows. However, within five minutes you are thinking of the next thing. This is human nature. Very little satisfies us for long. Nothing on earth truly satisfies us at all. True satisfaction, true fullness can only come from our Eternal Lord. How lucky we are, as believers, that God is our Portion… and that He is eternal.

Charles Spurgeon, who I’m pretty sure waxed eloquent at every given opportunity, had the following words to say about our excellent Portion:

He is our portion, supplying all our necessities, and our cup yielding royal luxuries; our cup in this life, and our inheritance in the life to come. As children of the Father who is in heaven, we inherit, by virtue of our joint heirship with Jesus, all the riches of the covenant of grace; and the portion which falls to us sets upon our table the bread of heaven and the new wine of the kingdom. Who would not be satisfied with such a dainty diet? Our shallow cup of sorrow we may well drain with resignation, since the deep cup of love stands side by side with it, and will never be empty.

Spurgeon seems to be echoing Ephesians 1:3, which says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.” Through Christ we have not only been given abundant spiritual blessings; we have been given every spiritual blessing. David speaks of this at the end of Psalm 16. Christ is at God’s right hand, and through Him are pleasures forevermore. These pleasures are not limited to spiritual blessings; they are also earthly blessings. Romans 8:32 says, "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?" We, as Christians, are freely given all things. I feel that it cannot be repeated too often that we have an excellent Portion. However, we must remember that all earthly blessings are from God. We must not live as if our past, present, or future “lots” are the guiding forces of our lives.

• Most of us have been blessed with good homes, a good church, and good upbringings. It is easy to let those things define us.
• We all have busy lives currently. Work, school, housekeeping. For me, it is easy to get busy with the ins and outs of running a home and just begin to tell yourself, “I’m a wife. My lot in life is my husband and my home.”
• We all have hopes for the future. These have always been the most dangerous in my life. We are quick to get wrapped up in our plans for life and sort of neglect the present. As females—which most (all?) current readers are—we begin to hope to be wives and mothers, and that is a good hope. However, it’s easy to let our plans for the future define us—rule us even. Putting all your stock in the future is the most dangerous because that kind of mindset can continue on indefinitely. “Hi, I’m Hannah, and I want to be a wife and mother some day… and I want to have more kids soon… and we are looking forward to a bigger house now that there are eight of us… and we’re looking forward to the big wedding… yes, and now I need to be a grandmother to feel complete… oh, we’ll finally feel settled after retirement.” This can go on for a lifetime. We must not let the future rule our lives.

All blessings—past, present, and future—are from God. We must remember that all good things are from Him, but they are not our portion. We cannot pick up all our blessings and move over to our own little worlds and try to exist. God is sustaining us. God has a plan for us. But he wants our hope to be in Him. After all, why would we live for our earthly blessings when we have a Portion who is ever-present, all-sufficient, and eternal? None of our wildest hopes and dreams can surpass the Portion we have been given. John Calvin entreats us, “Let us therefore learn, as God offers himself to us, to embrace him with our whole hearts, and to seek in him alone all the ingredients of our happiness. For if we have idols along with God, they will become our inheritance and our portion.”

I will close with Charles Simeon (again):

Imitate, for once, the worldling who is just about to take possession of his inheritance; with what joy he surveys it, and anticipates the delight which he will experience in the full possession of it! Thus go you, and survey your inheritance. See the state of those who are now possessed of their entire lot. Behold how they feast in the presence of their God! Think, if you can, what God is to them; and know, that their bliss is yours, in all its fullness, and for ever. Think how you will then “bless the Lord for giving you counsel.” Live, then, now as persons sensible of their privileges; and say, as [David did in verse six], “The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Yes, I have a good inheritance.”